When things do not go as planned in life, most of the time, we feel disappointed. Disappointed with what happened, in other people, the circumstance, but most importantly, we become disappointed in ourselves because we believe that somehow we could have done better or done something to prevent it. When you feel this way, here are a few tips for you to get over your disappointment.
1. Accept How You Feel.
The “denial” phase is always the infamous step to disappointment. The recognition that you have “failed” something or that you could not achieve something always starts with not accepting reality. Though this is often normal, try to avoid staying in this phase for too long since this will not help you get over the disappointment, it just “shuts down” your feelings.
Disappointment often brings a wide array of emotions that vary for different people. Some people feel angry, some feel sad, others get annoyed or irritated. No matter what you feel, allowing yourself to recognize and express these emotions is a great thing to do. Just make sure that you do not take out your emotions on other people.
So if you feel sad, feel free to cry; if you’re mad, then scream or rant. This will allow you to express those feelings and prevent them from bottling up inside, which causes more worry and anguish.
2. You Are Not a Disappointment.
One action in your life does not define you. Take, for instance, a person who lied once. Just because he lied once, does it make him a liar? The answer is no. This means that just one point in your life where you encountered something disappointing does not automatically make you a disappointment.
Things not going according to plan are expected, but remember that what you feel right now will not last forever. So maybe your actions or the way you handled it was disappointing, but it does not make you a disappointment as a person, meaning you will heal, you will grow, and you will continue.
3. Learn and Revise.
If the disappointment was because of something that was not handled correctly or something you could have controlled, then learning from your experience will be the best thing you can do about it so that you will not commit the same mistake again.
Suppose you are disappointed because a project you are working on has become a massive flop. If that’s the case, seeing what specifically went wrong will stop you from committing the same mistakes again. If the issue was more technical, preparing a backup so that it will not happen again will prevent all your future projects from the same issue.
4. Remember: It is Normal.
It is not expected that things will go exactly the way you plan. You are not a god, and in many ways, you cannot control unfortunate circumstances from happening. Even if you could have prevented it, it’s always true that not everyone can be perfect all the time.
Sometimes, a good book will help us put our lives into perspective to make us feel better. Somehow, there is something about reading about others’ journeys that will give you hearts’ ease. Remember that heartache and feeling down about mistakes you have made is normal and experienced by everyone at least once in their life, so do not be too hard on yourself when it happens.
5. Reframe and Refocus.
Remember that no matter what happens, there is always something you could get out of it. Whether knowledge or experience, everyone can get something from certain situations. Focusing on the positive side of the situation will often help you get over the disappointment.
Moreover, it would be best if you also refocused on what you’ve still got in your life. For example, if you got fired from work, reminding yourself that you still have family and friends that you can lean on or have some savings that will help you out while looking for a new job will help you deal with disappointment better.
6. Talk to Someone.
Allowing other people to listen to your stories often helps you get a different perspective on what happened. This often helps you ground yourself and not make a mountain out of a molehill. Sometimes, the people around you could also support you when you need help and may even give you valuable advice moving forward.
7. Adjust Your Expectations.
If you were disappointed because you set expectations that are too high for you, it would help you manage your expectations better and make a more realistic and feasible goal. Don’t buy into myths of perfection that often hurt yourself in the process. Even though others may seem perfect, there is no such thing as perfect in life, so placing that expectation on yourself isn’t fair.
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